MADISON ON THE AIR: “CASEY, CRIME PHOTOGRAPHER, PHOTO OF THE DEAD”
ADAPTED BY CHRISI TALYN SAJE: MAY 2021
SCENE ONE
MADISON
Hey, everybody, it’s Madison! Oh, hang on, I’ve got some announcer copy here– “Tonight we bring you another adventure of ‘Casey, Crime Photographer’: Ace cameraman who covers the crime news of a great city.” Doesn’t say which city, but we’ll go with that. “Our adventure for tonight…” Ooo, this actually sounds cool… “Photo of the Dead.” Did I trigger that dramatic music? Niiiice. Okay, now I’m setting the scene. “Nine o’clock in the evening. The big untidy photographers’ room of the Morning Express.” I guess that’s a newspaper… “The door opens and reporter Ann Williams enters.” Wait, lemme fix that– Try that again, “The door opens and reporter Madison Standish enters…”
MADISON
“Gosh, it’s hot, Casey. Let’s go over to the Blue Note Cafe.”
CASEY
Oh, Madison, I’d like to get out of this joint for a while, but Dad Phelan phoned about half an hour ago and said he wanted to see me.
MADISON
So, your dad’s coming down here?
CASEY
No, not my dad, Dad Phelan.
MADISON
You got two dads? Very progressive for the 1940s.
CASEY
No, “Dad” is just what we call him. It’s a sign of affection for older men.
MADISON
You know, that makes me think, I’ve never actually had a “Sugar Daddy.” I mean, my own father still pays for most everything so, I never really saw the need.
CASEY
Dad Phelan runs a little stationary and cigar store.
MADISON
Stationary and cigars? Wow, enjoy that while people are still writing letters and don’t know anything about lung cancer.
CASEY
Dad lost his wife last year. Aunt Maggie.
MADISON
Wait, your dad is married to your aunt? Is the city this show takes place in in Kentucky?
CASEY
Ya know, the next time Miss Williams needs a replacement, we’d be better off hiring one of the ten year-old newsies off Main Street.
MADISON
Incest and child labor? Oh… the good ol’ days.
CASEY
In any case, Dad said he wanted my advice about something. What, he didn’t say.
PHELAN
Casey?
CASEY
Oh, there he is now. Hi, Dad!
PHELAN
Casey, my boy!
CASEY
Hey, it’s good to see you. This is Madison Standish.
PHELAN
Well, hello, Miss Standish.
MADISON
I don’t see the family resemblance.
PHELAN
Excuse me?
CASEY
Eh, never mind, Dad. Here, sit down.
PHELAN
Thanks. I’ve got something to tell you.
CASEY
Oh? Well, what’s on your mind?
PHELAN
Casey, I’ve heard from Maggie. She’s come back to me from the dead!
MADISON
Ooo! I didn’t realize this was our Halloween episode.
CASEY
It’s not! Would you just– Go on, Dad.
PHELAN
I’ve heard her voice and she sent me her picture from the other world.
CASEY
Her picture?
PHELAN
You know that after Maggie died… well… we’d been together for nearly fifty years and I didn’t know what to do with myself.
CASEY
I know.
PHELAN
So I started to read books that told how the dead sometimes are able to communicate with the living.
MADISON
Oh, yeah, they totally can! I should hook you up with some of my psychic podcasts. Hang on, lemme check my phone. I know I downloaded some before I got stuck here in the past with zero reception.
PHELAN
There’s a book shop on 12th Street, “Jamison’s.” They have a lot of books on psychic phenomenon.
MADISON
Why read a book when you can actually hear real psychics talking? Wa-wa-wait, almost there. Wow, I have a lot of True Crime podcasts. I’m such a white girl.
PHELAN
A very nice lady runs the bookstore. I went in there a lot and we got acquainted. One day she told me about a woman. A Medium with remarkable powers.
MADISON
Oh, dude, that’s freakin’ awesome! I’ve always wanted to go to a psychic but my Ouija board warned me against it.
PHELAN
I went to see her last Thursday night, a week ago. Maggie spoke to me while I was there.
CASEY
What did this Medium charge you?
PHELAN
She wouldn’t take a penny. Here, Casey, look at this picture. You see what had happened? Above my right shoulder?
MADISON
Dude! It’s a ghostly face of a woman! That is super creepily awesome.
PHELAN
And it’s Maggie‘s face. You recognize her, Casey?
CASEY
Yes, of course.
PHELAN
This picture couldn’t have been made by a trick could it?
MADISON
No way, it’s totes real. You guys don’t even have photoshop yet.
PHELAN
Maggie was really with me last night wasn’t she?
CASEY
Yeah, she was with you, Dad.
PHELAN
The photo is not a fake? You would know.
CASEY
No, no. It’s not a fake.
MADISON
Told you. Like, photography at this time is majorly primitive. We’re lucky this show isn’t called “Casey, Crime Sketch Artist.”
PHELAN
So glad to hear you say that, Casey.
CASEY
Say, Dad, what’s the name of this Medium who took the shot?
PHELAN
Madame Lovell. She’s a fine woman.
CASEY
Where does she live?
PHELAN
She has a big house on Lincoln Avenue. One forty-two. Why?
CASEY
I, uh… just wondered. Excuse me, Dad. Hello, Casey speaking.
MADISON
Once, when I was traveling, I took a picture of the ghost of a cheerleader.
PHELAN
Really?
MADISON
It was a spirit with spirit on Spirit Airlines.
PHELAN
What?
MADISON
I know! I couldn’t sleep for a week after that. And it had nothing to do with the weed I’d smoked in Mexico.
CASEY
Okay, Burke. I’ll be right up. That was the city desk calling, Dad. I’m sorry, I’ve gotta rush out.
PHELAN
That’s all right, Casey, go right ahead. I’ll be going anyway. You told me what I wanted to know, and you’ve made me very happy. Good night, Miss Standish.
MADISON
Later.
PHELAN
Good night to you, Casey. And a million thanks.
CASEY
Good night, Dad.
MADISON
O.M.G. that photograph was ah-mazing! In my day, you can’t trust any images you see, especially online. Like, that cat is not actually arguing with that blonde lady.
CASEY
That photo is a fake. It’s a crude double exposure. That ghost face was taken by overlaying an old picture of Aunt Maggie that this Madame Lovell got a hold of somehow.
MADISON
What? Seriously? Well, then, why didn’t you tell your dad?
CASEY
He’s not my– He wants to believe that this thing is on the level. He’s happy tonight for the first time since his wife died. But Madison, after I finish whatever assignment Burke has for me upstairs, I’m gonna pay an unsocial call on this Madame Lovell.
MADISON
This all reminds me of the movie “Ghost,” a story of a hot young dance instructor who’s in love with a woman with an unfortunate haircut. When he dies, he has afterlife sex with her using the body of Whoopi Goldberg and then everybody at the rich people’s resort dances.
CASEY
What?
MADISON
Nobody puts Baby in a corner. Ditto.
SCENE TWO
CASEY
Oh, hey, Burke, whatdaya mean? You’re sending me out of town tonight?
BURKE
That’s what I said, Casey. I just had our Detroit correspondent on the phone. He tells me a honey of a murder broke out there. You may be gone two weeks. Maybe a month.
MADISON
You don’t need me to go, right?
BURKE
Casey’s on this job alone, Madison. You stay here.
MADISON
Good. Because Detroit and I don’t mix. I mean, yes, I did want to date a professional quarterback, what college cheerleader doesn’t? But I didn’t know he played for the Lions.
CASEY
Yeah, they went zero and eleven.
MADISON
Okay, then you know why I ghosted him. I swear, I could feel him crying through his texts.
BURKE
Casey, take this to the cashier and get your expense money. Your plane leaves in forty-five minutes.
CASEY
But, Burke, I gotta see someone tonight.
BURKE
Ya can’t. Get going, Casey. I want pictures from Detroit tomorrow.
CASEY
Oh, okay. Well, Dad Phelan’s been looking after himself for over seventy years. I guess he can do it without my help a few weeks longer.
MADISON
So this is weird. I mean, if you’re leaving and this is your show what do I do till you get back?
SCENE THREE
MADISON
So I said to him, “What do I do till you get back”? And then I remembered, alcohol!
ETHELBERT
Well, it sure was nice of you to stop by the Blue Note, Miss Standish. I was gettin’ pretty lonesome with both Casey and Miss Williams bein’ gone.
MADISON
You keep makin’ drinks this strong, Ethelbert, and I’ll move in here.
ETHELBERT
Oh, that might be the operator callin’ back for ya, Miss Standish.
MADISON
I can’t believe how many drinks I’ve had waiting for an operator to put through a long distance call. It’s like when the internet used to be dial up. How did people survive, Ethelbert? How?
ETHELBERT
Well, to be fair, Miss Standish, it’s only been five minutes. You just… uh… how do I say it nicely you drink like a sailor on shore leave? Hello? Blue Note Cafe. Ethelbert speakin’.
OPERATOR
I have a long distance call through to Detroit for a Miss Standish.
ETHELBERT
Oh, yeah, one second, operator. Madison, it’s your call to Casey.
MADISON
Do me a favor. Put it on speaker, would ya?
OPERATOR
Go ahead, please. Your party is on the line.
ETHELBERT
Uh… one more second, there, operator.
OPERATOR
Please, sir, I cannot hold up the line.
ETHELBERT
Uh, yeah, yeah, operator, I got it then, thank you.
CASEY
Hello?
ETHELBERT
Oh, hey there, Casey.
CASEY
Madison? How your voice has changed in a week.
ETHELBERT
It ain’t Madison, Casey. It’s Ethelbert. You know, from the Blue Note?
CASEY
Uh, yes, of course, Ethelbert. Was Madison trying to reach me?
ETHELBERT
She sure was, Casey. Uh, Casey, she just fell off her bar stool.
MADISON
I’m ohhhhh-kaaaay!
ETHELBERT
I got Casey on the line, Miss Standish. You want that I should tell him somethin’?
MADISON
Pass the phone down here, Ethelbert.
ETHELBERT
I don’t think the cord’ll reach.
MADISON
Damn your ancient technology!
ETHELBERT
Casey, eh… Miss Standish is a bit indisposed at the moment.
CASEY
This long distance call is costing a fortune. Maybe she should call back later.
MADISON
Tell him his dad died!
ETHELBERT
Uh, Casey? She says your dad died.
CASEY
My dad? He died years ago– Does she mean Dad Phelan?
ETHELBERT
You talkin’ ’bout Dad Phelan, Miss Standish?
MADISON
He dead yo!
ETHELBERT
Uh, yeah, Casey, I’m afraid so.
CASEY
I’ll be back on the next flight out, Ethelbert.
ETHELBERT
You okay down there, Miss Standish? Maybe I can get you a coffee?
MADISON
Ethelbert, I haven’t had a mocha latte in months! Ooo, a quarter.
SCENE FOUR
CASEY
Well, come on, Captain Logan, let’s have the dope on it!
MADISON
Dude, bring it down a notch. I woke up on the floor of the Blue Note wearing someone else’s shoes.
LOGAN
Well, Phelan didn’t open his door this morning, Casey. The cop on the beat got worried and broke in and found your friend dead in the back room.
CASEY
Just died in his sleep, huh?
MADISON
If that’s what helps you cope, we’ll go with that.
LOGAN
Beside the old man’s body was that spirit photograph of him and his wife. In his pocket, we found a bank book that had apparently represented his life savings.
MADISON
The guy was tapped out. He went from six-thousand, twenty-one dollars to just twenty-one dollars. You can’t carry that low of a balance. The bank fees alone woulda killed him.
CASEY
And the fake Medium got the six thousand?
MADISON
Hey! We haven’t determined that she’s a fake. Okay, maybe the picture was fake, but sometimes those with spiritual gifts use methods to reach the Other Side that those of us unenlightened to their sensibilities cannot judge.
CASEY
Are you still drunk?
MADISON
Little bit, yeah.
CASEY
Logan, that Medium killed that old man just as surely as though she’d stuck a gun to his head and pulled the trigger.
LOGAN
But she’s not a murderer in the eyes of the law.
MADISON
I bet you’re regretting pretty hard leaving your dad and going to Detroit, huh, Casey?
CASEY
All right, Logan, if the cops can’t do anything, I’ll talk to Madame Lovell myself and put things right, one way or another.
MADISON
I think I’ll just… sleep this off. You got a sofa?
LOGAN
Uh…
MADISON
It’s okay, I can lay down right here.
SCENE FIVE
LOKI
Good afternoon.
CASEY
I want to see your boss.
LOKI
What is your name?
CASEY
Casey.
LOKI
Do you have an appointment with the Mistress?
CASEY
No.
LOKI
Madame Lovell receives no visitor except by appointment.
CASEY
She’ll receive me, big guy, get outta my way!
LOKI
Wait! Nobody passes Loki.
MADAME LOVELL
Loki?
LOKI
Yes, Mistress?
MADAME LOVELL
I will see this gentleman for a moment.
CASEY
So you’re–
MADAME LOVELL
I am Madame Lovell. What do you wish?
CASEY
Hasn’t your crystal ball told you?
MADAME LOVELL
As the police have made some baseless insinuations that cannot be proven, I imagine you were about to do something equally foolish.
CASEY
You don’t care whose lives you destroy, do ya, sister? Well, maybe I don’t care whose house I destroy!
MADAME LOVELL
You are threatening my home, Mr. Casey? Then perhaps it’s time for you leave it. Loki!
LOKI
Yes, Mistress.
CASEY
Take your hands off of me!
MADAME LOVELL
Loki is my devoted servant and former prizefighter. Loki, teach Mr. Casey that it would be very unwise for him to trouble us again.
LOKI
It will be a pleasure, Madame.
MADAME LOVELL
Splendid, Loki. Now, pick Mr. Casey up from where he’s fallen and throw him out the door.
SCENE SIX
ETHELBERT
You’re certainly a pretty picture, Casey. Two black eyes, a lump on your jaw–
CASEY
You don’t have to give me a bruise by bruise description of how I look, Ethelbert. I know how I look!
MADISON
So your plan was what? To go over there and yell at her until you got your way? Did you ask to speak with her manager, Karen?
ETHELBERT
Miss Standish is right, Karen– eh, Casey. You’ve gone at this thing all wrong. Rough stuff will get you nowheres.
CASEY
You two are a big comfort.
ETHELBERT
Captain Logan says there’s nothin’ he can do, huh?
CASEY
Well, what can the cops do unless they prove that Madame Lovell got Dad Phelan’s money and got it under false pretenses.
MADISON
Proving it is definitely the hard part. Which is how I avoided getting expelled from the Girl Scouts in the “Great Cookie Scandal of ’05.” Suck it, Britney, you can’t prove a thing.
ETHELBERT
Why doesn’t Logan detail one of his dicks to pose as a sucker and pass this Madame Lovell a couple of marked bills?
CASEY
That’s been tried several times, but Madame Lovell’s too wise.
MADISON
Dude! What about me?
CASEY
What about you?
MADISON
Well, I totally don’t look like a cop. It’s called moisturizing. So I could go to Madame Lovell and tell her I lost my sister. Which almost happened when I was six. But she found her way home. I really didn’t expect a three year-old to make it out of those woods.
CASEY
What kind of a sick lunatic are you?
MADISON
Hey, I’m on your side. Be nice. So I’ll let Madame Lovell believe that I got major bucks and she’ll try to work her scam on me and we’ll get the proof.
ETHELBERT
Sure! Miss Standish could pass her the marked bills. It’d be a cinch, Casey.
CASEY
One hitch in your idea. You think that anybody gets into Madame Lovell’s joint unless she knows who they are and all about them? It’s part of her racket to have the lowdown on people who come to her.
MADISON
So I’ll create a fake online account with a tragic backstory. How else do you think I got into college? My grades? As if.
CASEY
Say, wait a minute. That’s not an entirely bad idea.
MADISON
Seriously? Did somebody invent the internet while I was passed out last night?
CASEY
Burke was telling me some of his recent family history before I went to Detroit. He can give us the gimmick we need behind this thing.
MADISON
Remind me… who’s Burke?
CASEY
You might wanna cut down on your drinking, Madison. It’s not doing your memory any favors.
MADISON
I’ll add it to my suggestion box.
ETHELBERT
Burke, eh? That your city editor, Casey?
CASEY
Yeah, Ethelbert. And boy, will he go for it when he sees it as the build up for an exclusive feature story! Madison, come on. We’re talking to Burke right now.
MADISON
But I’m not done with my drink yet!
ETHELBERT
Uh, that’s not your drink, Miss Standish. That’s my rag water.
MADISON
Okay, probably a good time for me to stop drinking.
SCENE SEVEN
BURKE
You’re right, Casey, it’s a natural. Madison, you’ll check into an uptown hotel tomorrow night as Marilyn Phillips of Portland Oregon.
MADISON
Marilyn Phillips, huh? I think I’ll play her like a sexy temptress with a French accent. “I love zeeze baguettes.”
CASEY
Think again. Marilyn Phillips is the real name of Burke’s first cousin, right, Burke?
BURKE
Yeah, and she ain’t French.
MADISON
She could be.
BURKE
Look, just play it straight, all right? Marilyn lost her mother several months ago.
CASEY
Where’s Miss Phillips now, Burke?
BURKE
Traveling in Mexico.
MADISON
I can play her Mexican! “I love zeeze tacos–“
CASEY
First, that was your French accent again and second… no.
BURKE
Madison, I’ll have my wife tell you enough about Marilyn Phillips tonight that you can borrow an identity without any a chance of a slip up. When this Madame Lovell checks her, she’ll think you’re the real McCoy.
MADISON
Ooo! I can play her like Dr. McCoy. “Dammit, Jim, I am doctor, not a sexy temptress!”
CASEY
Would you lay off the French accent? It’s not even good!
MADISON
Ouch.
BURKE
Now, we just have to figure out how Madison will get to Madame Lovell.
CASEY
She’ll go to Jamison‘s occult book shop and become a steady customer. The old dame who runs the place is probably a shill for Madame Lovell.
MADISON
Okay, so, I pose as a grief stricken — non-French — daughter with a pile of coin and let the old lady do the rest?
BURKE
That’s the play. I’ll see that you receive plenty of expense money, Madison.
MADISON
That’s all I’ve ever wanted to hear from a job!
CASEY
You might wanna get an itemized expense report after this is all over, Burke.
MADISON
Oh, I can itemize. I can make anything a write-off. After my first tax return when I was sixteen, the government wanted to hire me to do their military budget.
SCENE EIGHT
BURKE
City desk, Burke speaking.
MADISON
Hey, it’s Madison. I’ve been hanging out at the occult book store with the old lady forever but nothing’s happened.
BURKE
You’ve only been on the job for ten days.
MADISON
But she’s so boring! Every conversation is about her African violets.
BURKE
This will take time. Stick with it.
MADISON
Then I’m gonna need some more expense money.
BURKE
All right. I’ll send over one of the copy boys with more.
SCENE NINE
BURKE
City desk, Burke speaking.
MADISON
It’s been three weeks! Now her African violets have mites.
BURKE
No progress on meeting Madame Lovell, huh?
MADISON
She’s having me massage their leaves.
BURKE
This is good. You’re being accepted into her confidence.
MADISON
Please make it stop.
BURKE
You can’t quit now.
MADISON
Then I’m gonna need more expense money.
BURKE
I’ll send more over.
SCENE TEN
BURKE
City desk, Burke–
MADISON
Now some of her African violets are dying. Frankly, I think it’s suicide!
BURKE
I’m sure it’ll be any day now.
MADISON
Burke… about my expense money–
BURKE
Yes! I’ll send more over.
SCENE ELEVEN
MADISON
Morning, Mrs. Jamison.
MRS. JAMISON
There you are, Miss Phillips! You know, it occurred to me that you’ve been coming here for over a month now.
MADISON
Oh, gosh, please tell me Thumbelina is doing better!
MRS. JAMISON
Oh, absolutely. She’s blossoming again! Your sitting up with her all weekend really seemed to lift her spirits.
MADISON
Just call me the “African Violet Whisperer.”
MRS. JAMISON
Why? Did whispering help?
MADISON
Uh… yes.
MRS. JAMISON
Well, I wanted to talk to you. I feel that I know you well enough to offer a suggestion that may soften your great sorrow.
MADISON
Seriously?
MRS. JAMISON
Would it not comfort you to hear your mother’s voice once again?
MADISON
Oh, yeah, totes!
MRS. JAMISON
Perhaps you can. I know a remarkable woman, Miss Phillips. A woman of miraculous powers. Her name is Madame Lovell.
MADISON
Oh, thank god! Finally!
MRS. JAMISON
Excuse me?
MADISON
I mean… oh… my sorrow. Uh… parting is such sweet sorrow…
SCENE TWELVE
MADAME LOVELL
Sit down, Miss Phillips.
MADISON
Thanks. These shoes are totally killin’ me.
MADAME LOVELL
I see things in the crystal ball. I see a lady there whom you loved very dearly. Your mother, I believe.
MADISON
My mom? Does she have one droopy eye from a botched brow lift?
MADAME LOVELL
Eh… Yes. Her name was Alice.
MADISON
That old lady with the violets must’ve told you that.
MADAME LOVELL
Be not hasty in your judgment, Miss Phillips. You were born October fourth, 1922.
MADISON
1922! Dude! That makes me nearly a hundred years old! I’m freakin’ Betty White!
MADAME LOVELL
The actress?
MADISON
Of course you know who Betty White is. Was there ever a time when she wasn’t completely awesome?
MADAME LOVELL
Eh… to continue with my vision in the crystal ball. Your mother’s maiden name was McClintock. She’s very close to you now, Miss Phillips. Very close.
MADISON
Is she sitting right next to me?
MADAME LOVELL
I mean her spirit, not her, uh, physical being.
MADISON
Oh. Okay, so like, can you make me see her? Hear her voice? Floating candle maybe? Somethin’?
MADAME LOVELL
Later. Come to me on Thursday next. In the meantime, I will pray that the one you love beyond the veil will speak to you and give you comfort.
MADISON
Wow, that was quick. So, uh… what do I owe ya?
MADAME LOVELL
Oh, my dear child. I make no charge for my service. My mission in life is to serve mankind.
MADISON
Do you validate parking?
MADAME LOVELL
No.
SCENE THIRTEEN
BURKE
Oh, she merely gave you the old build up today?
MADISON
And she nailed the information about Marilyn Phillips and her mom.
BURKE
Must’ve gotten it from someone in Portland. Birds in her racket have contacts all over. Call me again after you see her on Thursday. Goodbye–
MADISON
Wait a minute, Burke. About my expenses–
BURKE
You’re spending the paper’s money like a heiress! Learn to live with what you have or starve! Goodbye!
MADISON
Geez. He sounds like my dad. I make one bid on a Princess Di gown and suddenly I don’t know the value of money.
SCENE FOURTEEN
MADAME LOVELL
The psychic force is strong in me tonight.
MADISON
The force is strong with this one.
MADAME LOVELL
I feel the spirit presence of one who has passed beyond!
MADISON
Praise the Lord!
MADAME LOVELL
She is here with us!
MADISON
Hallelujah!
MADAME LOVELL
Will you shut up?!
MADISON
Sorry.
MADAME LOVELL
I am sinking into a trance. Hold my hands tightly. Look closely at the crystal and soon you may hear the voice of the dead.
MADISON
Ooo! Don’t let go of my hands. I’m a puncher when I get scared.
MRS. JAMISON/MOTHER
My daughter–
MADISON
Ah!
MADAME LOVELL
Ow!
MADISON
Told you.
MRS. JAMISON/MOTHER
Have no fear, I’m with you, Marilyn, dear.
MADISON
Ma? Hey, Ma, what’s up?
MRS. JAMISON/MOTHER
This good woman has helped me make the journey from the land beyond to bring you comfort.
MADISON
Oh. Well, that was nice of her.
MRS. JAMISON/MOTHER
I left you so little money when I passed beyond the veil. You must have more. Much more.
MADISON
See, this is why I knew you always understood me better than Dad.
MRS. JAMISON/MOTHER
And you shall have the money. I will point the way. Tomorrow, take your money from the bank.
MADISON
Okay.
MRS. JAMISON/MOTHER
Give it to this good woman, Madame Lovell. She will invest it for you. Invest it so it will be doubled, tripled in amount.
MADISON
So… You’ll tell Madame Lovell how to invest my money?
MRS. JAMISON/MOTHER
I shall guide her every action.
MADISON
If you’re so great at investing, why didn’t you do it when you were alive?
MRS. JAMISON/MOTHER
Uh… Be-because now that I’ve crossed the veil I know all things, dear.
MADISON
Okay, I’ll buy that.
MRS. JAMISON/MOTHER
Through Madame Lovell I will make you rich. Now, promise you’ll bring the money tomorrow?
MADISON
Sure, Ma.
MRS. JAMISON/MOTHER
You’ve made me very happy. I must leave you now, darling. Goodbye, my dear…
MADISON
Madame Lovell? You-hoo… Madame…
MADAME LOVELL
Was… was it a success, Miss Phillips?
MADISON
You don’t know what happened?
MADAME LOVELL
I was in a trance. I never know.
MADISON
Oh, well looks like you’re gonna invest my life savings for me.
MADAME LOVELL
If your mother commands it, we shall assist her then.
MADISON
She also commanded you validate my parking.
MADAME LOVELL
No, she didn’t–
MADISON
I’m sorry, what’s that?
MADAME LOVELL
Fine. Give me your parking ticket.
SCENE FIFTEEN
BURKE
Well, Casey, that was Madison. Tomorrow night is the payoff. Madison is bringing Madame Lovell ten thousand dollars of the paper’s money.
CASEY
Yeah?
BURKE
Cops will be posted around the house before Madison goes in. When she comes out, the cops will take it as a signal to close in. Then they’ll get the Madame with all these those marked bills in her possession.
CASEY
There’s also going to be a witness when that money is passed.
BURKE
Who?
CASEY
Me.
BURKE
But you’re the last guy in the world who can get into that house.
CASEY
I’ve been casing that joint, Burke. There’s a big window in Madame Lovell’s chamber with a strong trellis leading up to it. The window is painted black inside, but if Madison can get it open just a few inches–
BURKE
You could see and hear what’s going on.
CASEY
And I can take a picture of Madison giving that rat the dough.
BURKE
It’ll make a swell shot for the paper.
CASEY
Will you tell Madison to get that window open?
BURKE
I certainly will. Leave it to Madison. Casey, why does that statement fill me with dread?
CASEY
Because your gut has always been able to predict natural disasters.
SCENE SIXTEEN
MADISON
Madame Lovell, I got the cash.
MADAME LOVELL
Well done, Miss Phillips. You may trust me. Through spirit guidance I have made many fortunes for other people.
MADISON
There’s ten thousand dollars there. Which is a lot of money in the 40s, right? I mean, gas is fifteen cents a gallon. Of course, fuel economy is a few decades out.
MADAME LOVELL
It is a lot of money, Miss Phillips, but you will be rewarded with far more in return.
MADISON
Okay. Here ya go.
MADAME LOVELL
Thank you. What was that?!
MADISON
That was the sound of someone not putting their camera on silent!
MADAME LOVELL
The window! So, it is Mr. Casey again!
CASEY
Hello, Madame Lovell.
MADAME LOVELL
Step off that trellis and into this room with that camera. As you see, I have a gun.
MADISON
Way to blow it, Casey. Freakin’ eight weeks of undercover work. I sang to those damn African violets and now it was all for nothing!
MADAME LOVELL
Close the window, Mr. Casey.
CASEY
Okay.
MADAME LOVELL
I’m always alert for frame ups.
CASEY
Yes, someone in your racket has to be.
MADAME LOVELL
You will give me the film you just exposed.
CASEY
What good’ll it do ya? I saw you take the dough.
MADAME LOVELL
Your testimony and that of Miss Phillips, if that is her real name–
MADISON
Clearly it’s not.
MADAME LOVELL
–Will be utterly valueless if the money cannot be found in my possession. It’s quite obvious that I have been given marked bills. But they are easily destroyed!
MADISON
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Casey, if she destroys the paper’s ten thousand dollars, Burke’s gonna kill me! He’s already pissed at me about the expense report!
CASEY
Why? What did you put in your expense report?
MADISON
Now is not the time!
CASEY
Don’t worry, she won’t destroy the money.
MADAME LOVELL
If you move, Mr. Casey, I will shoot you. Now, take the film from your camera and toss it into the copper bowl on this table.
CASEY
Okay.
MADAME LOVELL
I place your marked money in the bowl with it. Now, strike a match, Mr. Casey, and burn them!
CASEY
That gun makes you the boss.
MADISON
You don’t need to burn the money! Without the pictures, there’s no evidence you ever had it. Here, I’ll take the money back and we’ll just forget the whole thing.
CASEY
The cash doesn’t bother me so much as the idea that you might beat this rap, Madame Lovell.
MADAME LOVELL
I shall beat it. Strike a match and burn that evidence!
CASEY
Okay! Money and the film in this bowl sitting right beside your crystal ball!
MADISON
Dude! Casey! You knocked the gun out of her hands!
CASEY
Get it, Madison! Quick!
MADAME LOVELL
Loki! Loki!
MADISON
Loki? The God of Mischief?
LOKI
Yes, Mistress?
MADISON
You’re not Tom Hiddleston.
MADAME LOVELL
Loki! Help me! Get Casey!
CASEY
That’s the guy I wanted to see again. Come on, Loki, it’s just you and me!
MADISON
Casey isn’t exactly pulling off Thor here, but it’s worth the price of admission.
CASEY
You weren’t expecting that crystal ball in your face, were you, Loki? Now, Madame Lovell, would you like to gaze into your crystal ball, or can you guess what’s going to happen next?
MADISON
Okay, to be fair, she’s a fake speaks-to-the-dead psychic, not a fake knows-the-future psychic. It’s a specialty. Get it straight.
SCENE SEVENTEEN
ETHELBERT
So the cops got the whole gang of ’em, huh, Casey?
CASEY
Yes, Ethelbert.
MADISON
Including Mrs. Jamison. Turns out, when she wasn’t boring everyone with her African violets, she was the one impersonating Madame Lovell’s spooks.
ETHELBERT
That’s swell, Miss Standish.
CASEY
What isn’t swell, Ethelbert, is the expenses Miss Standish racked up.
MADISON
Well–
ETHELBERT
They anything like the tab she ran up while you were in Detroit, Casey?
MADISON
Hey–
CASEY
Between cleaning the offices over at the Morning Express and scrubbing dishes in your kitchen, Ethelbert, I expect Miss Standish is going to be quite busy for the next few months.
MADISON
Now, hang on–
ETHELBERT
Right you are, Casey. As my sister Edna says, quote: To err is human. To forgive, Devine. Lest you owe me money, then pay up your dime. Unquote.
CASEY
Very profound, Ethelbert!
ETHELBERT
Thank you, Casey.
MADISON
Ha, ha. Well, as a good American, I’m going to avoid my debt and keep on spending. So, good luck trying to collect.
EPILOGUE
MADISON
In the time freshly following prohibition, many radio shows downplayed drinking alcohol, worried about alienating a large part of their listening audience who still agreed with the ban. But “Casey, Crime Photographer” pushed the limits by introducing The Blue Note Cafe as Casey’s weekly watering hole. The Blue Note gave audiences a relatable place where they could envision themselves belly up to the bar alongside Casey and the rest of the cast. This also allowed their longtime sponsor, Anchor Hocking Glass, to advertise their glass bottles– perfect for beer and ale.