Night Beat 4



Transcript title

Ko-fi

MADISON ON THE AIR: “NIGHT BEAT; RAILROADED”

ADAPTED BY CHRISI TALYN SAJE: NOV 2020

SCENE ONE

ANNOUNCER
NIGHT BEAT!

MADISON
Hi! This is Madison Standish. Um… I don’t have a partner this week.So, instead they got me filling in for this guy… Randy Stone. Uh…
It says here that he… “Covers the night beat for the Chicago Star.” Okay, so what I’ve figured out is that he’s some sort of, like, reporter that writes stuff for newspapers, ya know before they had blogs and influencers and stuff. But instead of boring news, he writes stories about people he meets at night. Which is good for me because I’m a major night owl and prefer to sleep all day. So it totes pissed me off when my phone rang at eleven o’clock in the morning. Ugh! Why won’t it go to voicemail?! What?! Ah! Dammit!!!

BILLIE
This is Billie at the paper. That you, Madison?

MADISON
Who put this stupid cord on the phone?!

BILLIE
I’m glad you answered.

MADISON
What choice did I have? The damn thing kept ringing and I can’t find the “decline” button.

BILLIE
Um… well, a special delivery letter came just for you. It was actually addressed to Randy, but since you’re covering for him this week–

MADISON
Okay, well, forward it over to me. I’ll check my email when I get up.

BILLIE
I don’t… uh… the letter is signed “Dolly Graham.” It’s that Dolly Graham.

MADISON
Dolly Graham? She that winner of “The Voice”? Ya know, the country one? Or am I thinking of “American Idol”?

BILLIE
The actress. Should I just read the letter to you?

MADISON
Go for it.

BILLIE
“Dear Mr. Stone, you’re always looking for a story. I’ve got one for you. I can prove that I was not responsible for Mrs. Thompson’s death, that I’ve been framed. Please come see me today. Signed, Dolly Graham.”

MADISON
A scandal with a country singer, or actress, whatever, that sounds like a job for TMZ.

BILLIE
Paul Thompson is running for the senate. It was his wife that was killed. The boss thought there might be a story in it.

MADISON
Fine! Tell her I’ll meet her at…ugh, there’s no Starbucks yet. Stupid 1940’s. Um, what’s the closest thing you guys have to a, ah… bar that only serves coffee?

BILLIE
She’s actually at the Women’s Detention Center on California Avenue.

MADISON
Women’s prison? Like “Orange is the New Black”? The system has let her down, and its my job to redeem her.

BILLIE
Uh… possibly?

MADISON
I don’t know if I want to free her too soon. Apparently prison is the one place women are allowed to truly explore their lesbian side.

BILLIE
Might be a good idea if you came down here first and read up a little on the trial.

MADISON
Like, to research my article? I was hoping to be more of a “click bait” kinda reporter.

BILLIE
See you soon, Madison.

MADISON
I can already tell this is going to be way more labor intensive than I thought.

SCENE TWO

MADISON
I went down to the newspaper office and Billie directed me to their library to read up on the trial of “The People versus Dolly Graham.”
Can you believe all of the information was on paper?! No computers! No search engines! Nothing! I was going to be there all afternoon.
And since I got there pretty late because I’d spent a ton of time trying to find a place to get a mocha latte, which, hello, don’t call yourself a “Coffee Shop” if you only sell drip coffee. Uck. So I just had Billie sum it up for me.

BILLIE
According to witnesses, she’d driven her car out of her own driveway at a dangerously high rate of speed and had run straight into the Thompson’s car. To cinch the case against her, the D.A. pointed out that the girl had two previous reckless driving citations and at the time of the accident her driver’s permit had been suspended. Public sympathy had all been with the Thompson family.

JOSEPHINE
I’ll show you to her cell. This way.

MADISON
Are you aware of how scary you are? Is that like a choice, or has working in a prison hardened you?

JOSEPHINE
You here to visit someone or do you want check in?

MADISON
Ha! Now see, I bet it’s important to have a sense of humor in this line of work.

JOSEPHINE
I hope you’re not goin’ for that malarkey about Dolly bein’ innocent.

MADISON
You just said “malarky”! So was it like… an old person’s word even in the 1940s?

JOSEPHINE
Who you callin’ old?

MADISON
Anyone over 30.

JOSEPHINE
You wild, irresponsible kids. Put cha behind the wheel of a car and it’s murder. Plain murder.

MADISON
That’s exactly what my driver’s ed teacher said.

JOSEPHINE
Hey! Ya got a visitor!

MADISON
Wait, what? I gotta talk to her in her cell? What about those rooms with the plexiglass and the little phone receivers? You know, where the convict is safely behind a protective barrier?!

DOLLY
Who’s she?

JOSEPHINE
You got ten minutes. If you need any help, just holler.

MADISON
Very reassuring.

DOLLY
Well?

MADISON
Hey, there! Uh… I’m Madison Standish–

DOLLY
What does that call for? Three cheers?

MADISON
That reminds me of a story when I was a cheerleader. We were at an away game and I accidentally walked into the boy’s locker room. It was more than three cheers by the end but–

DOLLY
You got a cigarette?

MADISON
Do you need ’em in here for like, currency?

DOLLY
Why are you here?

MADISON
I got some letter from you this morning. Totes woke me up, by the way. Then my boss made me come down here to see you. So… You’re welcome.

DOLLY
I didn’t write any letter. Let’s see it.

MADISON
Hang on, lemme find it. You know, they barely searched me when I came in here. I coulda smuggled you drugs so easy. Here it is!

DOLLY
It’s my name, but I didn’t write this letter.

MADISON
Does it make any sense to you? Because without emojis, I really can’t tell the tone.

DOLLY
Just this part about George Saunders. He was in the car with me when it happened.

MADISON
That wasn’t in your testimony. I’m pretty sure I didn’t fall asleep when Billie read me that part.

DOLLY
He took off when the cops came.

MADISON
The douche left you there? Why?

DOLLY
He’d broken parole, I think, in Kansas or Wyoming. Someplace like that. I told them about it at the trial, but they didn’t believe me. They tried to make a deal with me.

MADISON
Ah, man, never take the plea deal.

DOLLY
They told me if I pleaded guilty it’d be treated just like any other traffic accident. But I told them “No! It wasn’t my fault.” So they made it manslaughter. A politician’s wife was killed.

MADISON
Well, not to throw shade, girl, but your driving record is up there with Lindsay Lohan’s.

DOLLY
Thompson’s car crashed into mine, I tell ya!

MADISON
Hey, I get it. I tried the same thing when I blew through an intersection. I told the cop the light hadn’t changed yet but it turns out it was a four-way stop.

DOLLY
My lawyer told me not to try and buck Paul Thompson.

MADISON
I’m sorry, was that “buck” like with a “B” as in “boy”?

DOLLY
Yeah.

MADISON
Either way, good advice.

DOLLY
He said Thompson couldn’t afford any unfavorable publicity on account of his running for the senate.

MADISON
Public perception is everything. I’m so woke I boycott every show on television.

DOLLY
So now I gotta rot here in jail.

MADISON
Well, tell me anything that you can remember about the accident. I barely got any sleep last night, but I’ll
try to pay attention.

DOLLY
I was waiting for this car to pass. My car was standing still in the driveway. I swear it! Then his car started weaving like he was drunk or something. Next thing I know is the crash.

MADISON
You weren’t on your phone were you?

DOLLY
While I was in the car?

MADISON
Were you entering your destination into GPS?

DOLLY
What?

MADISON
Scrolling through Spotify for a good playlist?

DOLLY
No. I just remember his car rolling on its side. First thing I saw was her — the wife — lying on the street. Dead.

MADISON
That’s messed up.

DOLLY
I heard someone trying to get out of the other car so I ran over to see if I could help.

MADISON
And that’s when your bad boy ran off.

DOLLY
Yeah. I saw Mr. Thompson was helping his daughter out of the car.

MADISON
He was driving, right?

DOLLY
I can’t really remember, it happened so fast. Then he said something to her, but I can’t remember what.

MADISON
To call a 9-1-1?

DOLLY
What’dya mean?

MADISON
Call 9-1-1. For an ambulance. Paramedics.

DOLLY
Para… what?

MADISON
Holy crap. You don’t have 9-1-1 or paramedics yet?! Who comes to help at an accident then?

DOLLY
You mean like a doctor?

MADISON
You can’t get a doctor to come to an accident. Hell, it takes me three weeks just to schedule an appointment at their office.

DOLLY
You just call a doctor who makes house calls.

MADISON
House… what now?

DOLLY
But, no. Mr. Thompson didn’t say anything about a doctor. It was something about home. “Go on home,” I think he said. “Go on home, Ann. I’ll look after things myself.” That’s all he said to her.

MADISON
‘Kay. That’s weird. Then what?

DOLLY
Then Mr. Thompson kinda staggered over to where his wife was and he fainted. Then the people started comin’ around. They started shouting at me and blaming me. And Mr. Bell told everybody he’d seen me do it.

MADISON
Hang on, losing track of names. Who’s Mr. Bell?

DOLLY
The next-door neighbor. He lied! He told ’em it was my fault. I don’t know why, but he lied.

MADISON
Neighbors always lie. Like, my music wasn’t that loud, and it wasn’t three a.m., more like two.

DOLLY
Oh, it’s no use. What did the D.A. call me? “An irresponsible, wild-eyed lady of the night.”

MADISON
That’s not bad. I’d use that as my profile status.

DOLLY
You should have seen the way the jury’s eyes lit up when he said that. I knew it was all over then.

MADISON
Okay, so… I guess I need to talk to the douche-y neighbor and… your loser boyfriend. Where can I find the boyfriend?

DOLLY
He plays clarinet at the Jazz Bar on Higgins Avenue.

MADISON
Clarinet? What, is he in the high school band? Girl, if you’re gonna date a musician, he should be lead guitar. Lead vocals are total divas. Drummers are basically roadies with good tempo and although bass players get a bad wrap, if they finger pluck, highly recommend.

JOSEPHINE
Time’s up, girlie.

DOLLY
So, you’re gonna help me?

MADISON
Looks like that’s where this story is goin’, so… uh, yeah.

SCENE THREE

MADISON
Okay, so I checked in with Billie at the paper and she gave me some more deets on Dolly’s case.

BILLIE
The evidence against Dolly Graham had been flimsy, the witnesses unreliable. And several times the jury had been reminded of
Mr. Thompson’s “fine record as a citizen in the community.”

MADISON
Got it.

BILLIE
Uh, Madison? The editor, he needs an article from you for the morning edition.

MADISON
But I’m still working on the article.

BILLIE
An article about something else for right now.

MADISON
Ugh! I didn’t realize I’d be stuck doing so much homework. Fine! When is it due?

BILLIE
Two hours.

MADISON
How much can I pay you to write it for me? You got aspirations to be a reporter. Am I right?

BILLIE
Just get it here by five.

MADISON
I had no idea what to write about. It was like my college Lit class all over again. I thought that that senator Thompson was a royal douche, so I quickly threw together an article made up of things I saw in memes during the last election. Hey, they didn’t ask me to cite my sources! I was pretty wired after that, so I went looking for the bad boy clarinet player, George, but turns out, he quit his job at that jazz club right after Dolly’s accident. Convenient. So after I had a few rounds at the bar — You would not believe how cheap drinks are in the 1940s — I went home and crashed. I woke up sometime after one in the afternoon with like this– screaming headache, took some tablets I think were aspirin, and headed over to see Dolly’s neighbor.

SCENE FOUR

MADISON
Uh… Mr. Bell?

BELL
That’s me.

MADISON
Oh, god, not so loud.

BELL
What do you want?

MADISON
It’s about the accident you saw.

BELL
As soon as she moved into that roomin’ house next door, I knew what kind she was.

MADISON
Any chance you can get that dog to stop barking?

BELL
Ruth! Shut the dog up!

MADISON
Oh… god. Why’d the shots have to be fifty cents?

BELL
So, what are you?

MADISON
Hung over, mostly.

BELL
No, like, you a lady reporter or somethin’?

MADISON
Yeah. Uh, I’m filling in for Randy Stone at the Chicago Star. And I’m probably this close to puking on your porch, so let’s just plow through this, okay? You saw the accident?

BELL
I was sittin’ right over there on the porch. She came shootin’ out of her driveway. She was doin’ forty, I bet. Reckless. Murderous reckless.

MADISON
Uh-huh. Save it for the Yelp Review. So your chair was right where it is now?

BELL
Same spot.

MADISON
Cool if I sit?

BELL
Go ahead. I told the missus the day that girl nearly run over our dog, she’ll kill a person someday. And she did. She killed that poor Mrs. Thompson.

MADISON
You sure you didn’t just hear the crash?

BELL
I seen it, I said.

MADISON
But you can’t see her driveway from here. There’s just a big ol’ brick wall and those two ginormous trees.

BELL
Well now, you wouldn’t make me out to be a liar, would ya? I seen it all!

MADISON
Let’s just lower the volume level, okay?

BELL
I told ’em in court I seen it and they believe me.

MADISON
You didn’t like her so you told them what they wanted to hear. You’re like a mean girl in a wrinkly old man suit.

BELL
You can’t make no liar outta me. You go talk to Carolyn Parks. She lives in the same house as that Graham girl. She seen it, too!

MADISON
Carolyn Parks?

BELL
That’s right. The young lady next door. I saw her watchin’ out the window.

MADISON
So, basically, you spend all day sitting on your porch spying on young women in the neighborhood?

BELL
What? I–

MADISON
I’m gonna go now. Try not to watch my ass as I leave, okay, Weinstein?

SCENE FIVE

MADISON
I went next door to Dolly’s rooming house, which, by the way, a “rooming house” is basically a bunch of strangers renting a house together, and the landlady lives with them, too. I dunno, it’s creepy. Carolyn lived in one of the rooms upstairs.

CAROLYN
Yes?

MADISON
Oh, man, can you turn that off? I am nursin’ one hell of a hangover.

CAROLYN
Sure. You’re a newspaper reporter, aren’t you? I saw you talking to Mr. Bell next door.

MADISON
Geez, everybody spies on everybody around here, don’t they?

CAROLYN
Well, not a lot to do to pass the time.

MADISON
T.V. is coming, honey. It’ll all change when you get T.V.

CAROLYN
You wanna sit down?

MADISON
Thanks. You got any Advil?

CAROLYN
Care for some wine? Sherry?

MADISON
Hair of the dog? Yaaah. Serve it up!

CAROLYN
Sherry’s good for ya. The other stuff’s poison.

MADISON
You don’t have to tell me twice.

CAROLYN
Makes ya feel better if you’re… ill.

MADISON
I did puke a little in your bushes, by the way. But that Bell guy’s dog ate it so… Ah, thanks.

CAROLYN
You were talkin’ to Mr. Bell about Dolly Graham. I heard ya through the window. You know Dolly?

MADISON
Not really. I’m just trying to write a story about the crash.

CAROLYN
Oh, I’m tired of talkin’ about that accident.

MADISON
Hey, I’m all for makin’ this quick. I am so ready to pass out on my bed and wake up Thursday. So, you heard her leaving her room that night?

CAROLYN
He was kidding her.

MADISON
Who was? That… um… clarinet guy? Oh, what’s his butt, uh, George?

CAROLYN
She had a ton of boyfriends.

MADISON
Yeah, but in court you said that she was alone.

CAROLYN
I said I wasn’t sure if she was with somebody else. She’s a good-looking girl. Hair just like mine. Mine is natural, though.

MADISON
Well, you could use some highlights, maybe even go a shade lighter, it would look way better with your skin tone. But anyway, you said you heard a guy’s voice?

CAROLYN
Maybe. Oh, there were no long empty evenings for her. Not like some people have. She used to rib me about it. Said she’d “fix me up with a date.” Stuff like that. It hurt.

MADISON
Got it. She’s a slutty bitch and no one swipes right for you. So, you were looking out of the window when the crash happened?

CAROLYN
Yeah.

MADISON
Nobody else was in the car with her?

CAROLYN
No. She said he ran out on her. I didn’t see him. That’s a laugh, isn’t it? When it came right down to a pinch, she was alone, too. Even the young, pretty ones are alone.

MADISON
Wow, jealous, much?

CAROLYN
I had a time of it when the reporters and police started coming around. But even that didn’t last long.

MADISON
Okay, girl. Fill me up with some more of that Sherry. I’m givin’ you a Madison Makeover.

SCENE SIX

MADISON
After I gave Carolyn an amazing makeover with this like, super smoky Beyonce eye look, I made it back to the newspaper… where Billie caught me trying to take a nap at Randy’s desk.

BILLIE
Madison?

MADISON
Unless you’re here to give me a triple shot mocha latte, go away.

BILLIE
It’s, umm, this morning’s column of yours. It’s directed against Paul Thompson, isn’t it?

MADISON
The senator, guy? Yeah. Him and all corrupt politicians. So, basically, everybody except Bernie.

BILLIE
Well, you know the Star is supporting him in his bid for the senate.

MADISON
‘Kay.

BILLIE
Thompson’s attorney phoned. The managing editor wants no more of it.

MADISON
I think I have the right to say whatever I want under the Constitution of the United States of America.

BILLIE
There’s freedom of the press, but you still have to answer to the editor.

MADISON
They always pulled that crap on me at Applebee’s. If they hadn’t fired me, I woulda totally quit.

BILLIE
As a matter of fact, Thompson wants to talk to you. Particularly about the part where you called him an… “infantile Cheeto”?

MADISON
Yeah… probably shouldn’t have used that one. Unless– Does Thompson use spray tan from the CVS bargain bin?

BILLIE
Um… no. The editor said that proof’s one thing, but, conjecture is another. Give the boss proof and he’ll print it.

MADISON
Proof the guy’s a Cheeto?

BILLIE
About Dolly.

MADISON
Well, talking with the so called “witnesses,” Dolly didn’t cause the crash. I even took some pix while I was there. The old dude said that
he could see her driveway but there’s no way, look. Dammit! My battery’s dead. I forgot my charger at home. Do you have a charger for an iPhone twelve?

BILLIE
You’re going to need something a lot more conclusive than just pictures before you can make a story out of it, Madison.

MADISON
Well, I was trying to find Dolly’s boyfriend but the dude quit his job. Typical musician. Like, the second they become employed they think they’re “selling out” so they quit and guess who’s left paying the rent on her Applebee’s salary.

BILLIE
You believe there was a guy with her?

MADISON
Yeah, George. He plays the clarinet. Like, how many clarinet jobs are there that he thinks he can just quit? What’s he gonna do now? Join a marching band?

BILLIE
I saw that in the trial transcripts. I can check in with my source at the musician’s union and see if they can locate him.

MADISON
O.M.G. that would be total amazingness! But I still gotta figure out who wrote the letter. Dolly said it wasn’t her.

BILLIE
Let me look at that letter. Hmm… this is a girl’s handwriting. It looks like it was mailed from Wilmette late last night. That’s about thirty miles from here. High-class residential section.

MADISON
“High-class residential”? So… the Land of Karens. Got it.

BILLIE
The boss told Mr. Thompson you’d call him as soon as we heard from you.

MADISON
What, like, now? I’m so tired!

BILLIE
He said no matter what time it was, Thompson wants to see you. He lives on Lakewood Terrace.

MADISON
A young girl going over to a senator’s house by herself late at night. What could possibly go wrong?

SCENE SEVEN

MADISON
So, like, half an hour later I finally find Thompson’s place. Not having GPS seriously sucks but you wouldn’t believe how much parking there is in the 40s! Anyway, the dude had his own nurse and she showed me in. She said he was totes sick and not to get him excited and I’m all, “Does that make me the opposite of a hooker?” And she just shut the door behind me.

PAUL
Sorry I can’t rise to receive you. I haven’t been very well.

MADISON
Yeah, well, if you want to run for office, you better get over it quick because Hillary had one sneeze and lost the election.

PAUL
Obviously, we had to meet very shortly, so I took the initiative.

MADISON
So you didn’t like my article. Do you know how many internet trolls talk smack about my blog? Hashtag “I Know You Are, But What Am I?”

PAUL
Both its tone and contents were clearly directed against my family.

MADISON
Actually the Trump family, I just changed the name to Thompson.

PAUL
Running as I am for the senate next month your insinuations must have an adverse effect on my campaign. I have learned that you are conducting a private investigation into the… the tragic death of my wife.

MADISON
Yeah. Kinda the whole purpose of this episode, actually.

PAUL
In the face of such overwhelming evidence as was presented in the court, do you mean to say that further inquiries could serve any useful purpose?

MADISON
You talk more like an English professor than a politician. Little hint– Dumb it down a bit so you can appeal to the masses.

PAUL
What will it take to end your investigation?

MADISON
Well… in court you said your daughter was driving the car, right? Lemme talk to her.

PAUL
She’s in no condition to see anyone. Poor child is on the point of a serious breakdown. She’s never recovered from that horrible night. Besides, it’s impossible. She’s not in the city, at any rate.

MADISON
Dude! Are you crazy? You gotta have the daughter for the photo ops. Especially with a dead wife. Major sympathy vote!

PAUL
Miss Standish, I’ve wanted nothing so much in my life as I want that seat in the senate.

MADISON
It’s okay if she’s not pretty. Chelsea Clinton survived eight years.

PAUL
Yes, well, clearly you have a… unique perspective on what it takes to run for office.

MADISON
Hey, I vote. Even in the boring elections for judges and school boards ‘n’ stuff.

PAUL
I’ve long been searching for a young, aggressive person to run my campaign for me. Whatever your present salary is, I will double it.

MADISON
I produce a podcast. You’re offering me double of nothing.

PAUL
Then name your price. These attacks on my family must stop. I can’t fight it, so I’ll buy it.

MADISON
Oh! You’re trying to buy me off. Okay, well, let me assess your little house here. I’m thinkin’ you got some dollars saved up, am I right?

PAUL
There must be no more unfavorab– unfavorable publicity on–

MADISON
Dude, you okay?

PAUL
Diabetic. Insulin on the table. Do you know how to administer it?

MADISON
If it has to do with your ass, no.

PAUL
The nurse. Call her quickly.

MADISON
Nurse?! Get in here! Quick! I will not have another old dude die on me!

SCENE EIGHT

MADISON
The nurse gave him the insulin. I did not watch. After that he looked way better and tried to talk to me but the nurse was like, “You gotta leave.” And I’m all, “Not a problem.” So I left and hurried back to the newspaper. Billie was still working. Girl, don’t you ever go home?

BILLIE
How’d it go with Thompson?

MADISON
He’s like, mega sick. I don’t know how he could even run for office.

BILLIE
Oh! Before I forget, my friend from the musician’s union phoned. He’s located Saunders at the Exeter Hotel, downtown, room three-twelve.

MADISON
Oh, okay–

BILLIE
He’s in his room. I checked with the clerk. And I sent one of the boys down to follow him in case he leaves.

MADISON
That’s… super thorough. Thanks.

BILLIE
I also saw the pictures you took from Bell’s porch.

MADISON
My phone finally charged? Thank god! I was worried the 40s had some weird European electrical sockets that wouldn’t work with my charger.

BILLIE
By the photos, he couldn’t possibly have seen the accident.

MADISON
Right!? Told you!

BILLIE
Did you get to talk to the daughter?

MADISON
Thompson sent his daughter out of town. Now here’s a question. She was driving when they had the crash, right?

BILLIE
That’s what the transcripts said.

MADISON
But after the crash Dolly said he told the daughter to run home. Drivers are supposed to stay on the scene with their vehicles. I know this ‘cuz once I rear ended someone in front of a Jamba Juice, totally his fault, like, he was at the stop sign long enough– Anyway, the cops got real pissed that while I was waiting for them to show up, I went inside and got a smoothie.

BILLIE
I could go down to the motor vehicles license bureau and get all the information on the Thompsons’ driver’s licenses. I don’t know if they’ll give me any information this time of night, though.

MADISON
Yeah, that works. Give it a shot.

BILLIE
Are you going to see George Saunders now?

MADISON
Ugh! Don’t you people ever sleep?

BILLIE
Either you finish this article, or you write a different one for the morning column.

MADISON
This is why I don’t do a daily podcast.

SCENE NINE

MADISON
I got to Clarinet Boy’s hotel which kinda looked like a wanna be Motel Six off the highway in the middle of like, Arkansas — but with art deco? Ya know? Well, the guy Billie sent over from the Star told me George hadn’t left his room, so I headed up there. Trying not to touch anything.

GEORGE
Come on in.

MADISON
Yeah, that doorknob doesn’t look like it’s swimming with disease.

GEORGE
Hi! Be with you in a minute. I don’t wanna let go of this lick.

MADISON
How hard is it to master “When the Saints Go Marching In?”

GEORGE
How’d ya like it?

MADISON
I dunno. I’d have to ask my dead great-grandmother.

GEORGE
I don’t think I know you. What was it you wanted?

MADISON
You were hookin’ up with Dolly Graham, right?

GEORGE
You some sorta lady policeman?

MADISON
In these shoes? Hey! Can we stop the chamber music for a minute? I’ve been up since, like, Tuesday.

GEORGE
What was it you wanted?

MADISON
I talked to Dolly yesterday. She said that you were in the car with her when that accident happened.

GEORGE
Does the jury believe that’s important now?

MADISON
So, were you?

GEORGE
Yeah. I guess I was.

MADISON
And you took off? Total dick move.

GEORGE
I thought about it lots of times. I didn’t have the guts. I’m wanted out west. I jumped parole and if they ever get their hands on me, it’d be too bad. Too bad, don’t you see?

MADISON
I see a selfish musician who put his own needs in front of his girlfriend’s.

GEORGE
I thought for sure she’d beat the case.

MADISON
She pays his bills, she loans him her car, and even after she’s gone to every dive bar in the city to watch his lame-ass play, making her pay the cover charge and the two drink minimum, by the way–

GEORGE
We were just sitting there. I said, the guy who’s driving, he’s drunk.

MADISON
Even after all that– Wait, hang on, the guy who was driving?

GEORGE
It was a man. I saw him.

MADISON
The daughter was supposed to be driving.

GEORGE
Well, she wasn’t.

MADISON
Ohhhh-kay. Major development. You gotta be a witness.

GEORGE
You don’t understand. I just can’t do it. They’ll get me on that Kansas thing.

MADISON
So?! Dolly is serving time for manslaughter!

GEORGE
That’s her tough luck. Now get out!

MADISON
Ohmygod. You are such a douche! Yeah, well, rock and roll is right around the corner and you’ll be left playing your stupid clarinet at dinner theater for old ladies!

SCENE TEN

MADISON
I got back to the office and Billie ran up to me totes excited.

BILLIE
Thompson’s daughter, Ann, she had a license issued to her, all right. The day after the accident.

MADISON
Whaaa? Seriously?!

BILLIE
That isn’t all. Thompson’s own license had been revoked over a year ago for reasons of health.

MADISON
Yeah, see?! That’s what I was sayin’. He like, nearly died when we were just talking. No way he could drive. But he was driving that day. That douche musician guy said he saw him!

BILLIE
Paul Thompson was driving?

MADISON
Yeah! That’s why he helped his daughter out of the car. He got out first. But he knew he’d totally get blamed for it. So he told her to run home, and then told everybody that she was driving.

BILLIE
We’ve got to prove it.

MADISON
Do you think anyone took video of it on their cellphones?

BILLIE
Wait! What about the letter? I think I know who sent it!

MADISON
Okay, who?

BILLIE
Ann Thompson.

MADISON
The daughter?! Yaaas… Oh, totally railroaded by her dad and sent out of town to keep her quiet!

BILLIE
The letter was postmarked Wilmette. Shouldn’t be hard to find her. You gonna see her tonight?

MADISON
Tonight? Uck. Okay, but when the sun comes up in a few hours, we’re goin’ for margaritas.

SCENE ELEVEN

MADISON This was so old school. Billie tracked down the daughter by the postmark on the envelope and then talked to a… uh “telephone operator” who not only wasn’t located in India, but actually knew who Ann was and that she was visiting her aunt on Elm Street. And old people today bitch about having no privacy with the internet? So I drove out there. The girl must’ve been psychic or something because she answered the door right as a rang the doorbell.

ANN
Come in, Miss Standish.

MADISON
Cool, thanks.

ANN
Have you… have you seen my father?

MADISON
Yeah.

ANN
Is he all right?

MADISON
If by “all right” you mean he’s gotta have a nurse shoot him in the ass with insulin every ten minutes or he’ll die, then… yeah.

ANN
I was hoping you’d come. I… I couldn’t go on hiding a thing like that the rest of my life, could I?

MADISON
You’re rich so… probably.

ANN
Dad didn’t know mother was… was dead. He thought it was just a traffic accident.

MADISON
So he totes made you say you were driving.

ANN
He shouldn’t have been driving. The doctor warned him. I felt so bad when I had to tell those lies in court.

MADISON
Judge Judy woulda ripped you a new one.

ANN
Poor girl standing there, staring at me. I felt like crying. I feel like crying now.

MADISON
Okay… okay. Let it out, girl. C’mon, I’ll drive you back to town.

ANN
You’ll drive me?

MADISON
Well, I’m not sure not lettin’ you drive.

SCENE TWELVE

MADISON
So, let’s sum this up. Dolly Graham was almost stuck in prison because everybody lied. The neighbor, Mr. Bell, gave false testimony just because he didn’t like Dolly. And lonely Carolyn was so jealous of Dolly, she lied to screw her over. And of course the politician created
a huge cover up to protect his career. No surprise there. Although in the pursuit to find out whether Dolly caused the accident or not, there was a considerable amount of disregard to the fact that Mrs. Thompson was killed by her husband and that he used his teenage daughter as the fall guy for his illegal driving. Nah well, he’ll probably still win the election.

BILLIE
You need to say the last line.

MADISON
That? But I don’t even know what that means.

BILLIE
It’s a newspaper thing. Randy ends every episode with it.

MADISON
Okay, fine. But we’re goin’ for margaritas after this. Copy Boy!

PROLOGUE

MADISON
During the popularity of Detective Noir shows, “Night Beat” offered not only crime and thriller storylines, but, through the guise of a reporter looking for human interest stories, also featured humanitarian and even humorous plots. There were a few failed attempts to bring the show to television, but the original radio series boasts one hundred and twelve episodes.

END